Walther, the bearded dragon
I usually pay someone to get the bugs out of my house. Today, though, I paid to bring bugs into the house.
My son’s family has been pet-sitting a bearded dragon, a twenty-inch long lizard. Walther spends his days enjoying life in a hundred gallon aquarium equipped with a nice hammock for sleeping, half a log for hiding, a bowl of water, and a dish full of lizard chow (or whatever it is that lizards eat.) When his family feels like spoiling him, they feed him kale, blueberries, and crickets.
On a recent visit, my wife and I had an afternoon with the two oldest grandchildren. As we left, my daughter-in-law said, “If you want, you can get some crickets to feed Walther. Just make sure you get them coated with calcium.” Sounds easy enough.
I’ve waited in line at the pet store behind people purchasing bag of crickets. I’ve always wondered, “Who would do that?” Now I know.
After wandering around the pet store for a while we came across the cage full of crickets. It’s didn’t look like self-serve, so I told a store worker, “I need to buy some crickets.” She talked into a headset and said, “Someone will meet you there.”
A very nice woman met us at the cage a minute later. “I need fifteen crickets, coated with calcium.” “Sure, no problem.” She scooped some calcium powder into a clear plastic bag and opened the lid of the cage. I guess I expected crickets to swarm all over the store, but they didn’t. She scooped up a bunch with a special funnel and poured them into the bag. After twisting the top and securing it with a rubber band, she shook up the bag, wrote “12” on the side and handed it to me.
I asked her, “Do you enjoy the bug part of your job?” She said, “Oh,m you get used to it.” I doubted I’d ever get used to that, but who knows?
At the register, the woman ahead of me was buying hookworms for her lizard. One look at those and I was glad to only be buying crickets. The cashier talked about her own bearded dragon, who liked to relax on her shoulder as she did chores around the house. I paid for the crickets ($.13 a piece) and we headed home.
As soon as we walked in the door, Walther knew this was going to be a good day. When we dropped a few of the crickets into his tank, he snapped them right up and gave us the eye, as if to say, “Well? Let’s have the rest.”
A few minutes later my son got home from work, we dumped the rest of the crickets into the cage. In less than a minute, they were gone, just a few leg pieces sticking out of his mouth. But one cricket was hiding behind the log. It tried to crawl off into the corner unnoticed, but in a flash, Walther did a one eighty and gobbled it down.
I said, “You shouldn’t have any bug problems. Just let Walther hunt them down.” Alas, that’s not a good idea. Bugs around the house or in your garden are subject to parasites themselves. You have to buy bugs for them.
We were fascinated by the bearded dragon. But we have a strict “no reptile” rule in our house. No bugs, either. We’re dog people.
